


Butterfly Wings

by TheGingerOne1798



Category: natewantstobattle
Genre: F/F, F/M, Multi, NateWantsToBattle - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-13
Updated: 2017-04-26
Packaged: 2018-08-30 21:56:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 23,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8550676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGingerOne1798/pseuds/TheGingerOne1798
Summary: His name will haunt me forever. His eyes will forever be boring into my mind. All the memories we had together that no one else had shared. The things I know about him that no one else knows. It's not like I can escape when his name is all over the internet. How can anyone forget Nathan Sharp?





	1. Prologue

Prologue

They say that people come into your life for a reason. You may not know it yet, but there is a reason. There is some reason that you cross paths with specific people and I still haven't figured out why. Why or how this happens. Hell, I don't know if I even believe it. It confuses me when people say that there's a reason. 

For example, when you date someone for a long period of time, you feel like that is their purpose. That you're meant to be together and that you've found the one. Then one day everything changes. Your happy ending doesn't turn out so happy and you're left heart broken. 

So, what was their purpose? What reason would they have to be in my life if all they were going to do is hurt me and then never speak to me. Is this just how it's supposed to be? Am I supposed to get hurt over and over again? 

'People come into your lives for a reason.' Yeah, I don't buy it. Unless their reason to be in my life was to give me false hope then shatter it, I don't buy it.

I have experienced my fair share of heart ache and I'm done with it. I believe that I can decide my own fate. That I don't have to go through this again. I'm just done. 

It's funny. You think you know someone. You think you know them like the back of your hand. Like you can trust them without a care in the world. Then they betray that trust like it's nothing. Leaving you on the ground like a butterfly with broken wings.

I thought knew him. I thought he was different. I thought something had finally gone right in my life. That I had maybe done something right. But no, I'm back where I started with life fucking me right in the ass. I should have known this would happen, but what's done is done. 

His name will haunt me forever. His eyes will forever be boring into my mind. All the memories we had together that no one else had shared. The things I know about him that no one else knows. It's not like I can escape when his name is all over the internet. 

How can anyone forget Nathan Sharp?


	2. Chapter One

"You're a piece of shit. And I can prove it mathematically." This is how my life has been going so far. Sitting around on my ass going from place to place because I can't afford a place of my own. I don't see the point in getting a job when I know that I'm not going to amount to anything. So what's the fucking point.

My mother basically disowned me when she found out that I've been kicked out of college. She always expected so much out of me and I just couldn't give her that. I couldn't be her perfect little honor child. It didn't help that my mother always had to remind me about what a little piece of shit daughter I was. Ha, I guess Rick is right. 

"So, have you applied for any jobs yet?" I don't look away from the tv as my friend Jessica walks up behind the couch. 

"I'll get to it." I scoffed. She let out a long sigh and comes around the couch to sit next to me. 

"Listen. You need to be doing something with your life. I hate seeing you like this. What happened to you wanting to be a music producer?" I rolled my eyes and looked at her. 

"That's obviously never going to happen. It never was going to happen. I don't see the point in trying anymore. I'm really nothing special so why does it fucking matter?" I turn my attention back to the tv, trying my best to not let my anger get the best of me. 

"Don't say that. You're a great person. No one is put on this earth on accident. Everyone has some purpose."

"Just stop. You know how I feel about that stuff. It's bullshit." I looked her straight in the eye as I continued. "Two people have sex, they make a baby, that baby is forced to go through life thinking they'll amount to something but it's all just a waste of time. In the end you're still going to die so what's the point. There is no God and I don't care what you say that's just how I feel. So stop saying everyone has a purpose. It's bullshit."

I stand up to walk out of the room, not bothering to look at her. "Look. I'm sorry that nothing has gone your way, but that's life. Nothing ever turns out exactly how we plan. You're just to lazy to do anything for yourself. Your issues you have with your mom are your fault and you know very damn well. I'm not going to take this from you while I let you stay here rent free. I want you out. Now." I stop and turn around to see Jessica looking angrier than I've ever seen her but for some reason, I didn't care. I felt nothing. 

"Fine. But don't expect me to be there for you again when your man whore of a boyfriend cheats on you again." I quickly grab my bag from her room and stuff what little clothes I had into it along with my toothbrush and deodorant. 

I head toward the door and see her still standing in her place in the living room. I shake my head and open the door to leave. "Don't let the door hit you on the way out." I slammed the door and began walking down the stairs from her apartment building.

I walked out of the exit to her apartment building and began walking down the side walk. I really wish I had that jacket that Jessica let me borrow last week, considering it was about 30 degrees out here. My arms were starting to become numb but I didn't care. It couldn't compare to the numbness I felt in me. 

I took out my phone and began to look through my contacts, looking for someone to call. I doubt anyone would take me in though. Most people already know my situation. 

As I'm still looking down at my phone I collide with someone walking the opposite way. I heard a crack as I look up at who I bumped into. It was a man. A man that looked to be in his early twenties. His hair was jet black and had part of it swooped off on his right side. His eyes were a warm brown color and his lips seemed to shape an almost perfect heart. He had a set of pokéball plugs on his ears but I couldn't tell what size they were from just looking at them. 

I quickly realized that I was staring without saying anything. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I should have been paying more attention." I felt my cheeks heat up in embarrassment as I looked down at the ground. I noticed an iPhone on the ground that had to be his and quickly picked it up, noticing that it had shattered. "Shit I am so sorry, I'll pay to replace your phone if you want." I knew this would be near impossible but I guess is have a reason to get a job. 

"It's fine, really." His voice was warm and welcoming. "I was in need of an upgrade anyway." He chuckled softly. We sat there in awkward silence before he finally spoke. "So I don't think I've seen you around that much." I nodded as he began to walk with me down the sidewalk, the snow crunching underneath our feet. 

"Yeah, I don't really get out very much. I mostly just keep to myself. I'm Harper." I give him a fake smile then turn my attention forward. 

"Nice to meet you, Harper. I'm Nathan, but you can just call me Nate." We walked in silence for a little while longer. For some reason, I wasn't afraid. It was a comfortable silence and for some reason I felt comfortable with him. With Nate. "So, where do you live?" I looked down, ashamed of what I was about to tell him. I knew how shitty my life was and I knew it was all my fault. I just can't bring myself to do anything about it. My depression has been getting worse and no one has noticed. I knew if I told anyone, they'd say I'm making it up. I need help, but I don't know how. 

"No where really.. I actually just got kicked out of my friends apartment a few minutes ago. I've been couch hopping the past few months." My face was emotionless as I explained this. 

"Do you have a job?" He asked. I shook my head. He stopped and I turned around to look at him. "I might have an idea." He smirked at me. I raised my brow in confusion. "Have you ever worked in a recording studio?" My eyes widened at his words. 

"I-I mean I've interned and I was in college for music production. So I have some experience I guess. How did you know?" I stammered as I tried to get the words out. He shrugged. 

"I don't know really, I was just looking for someone to help me and thought maybe I'd ask. Would you be interested in working for me? I could let you stay at my place too if you'd like?" I was just bewildered at this. I have never met anyone like him. I had just met him and he's already asking me to live with him. Part of me wants to say yes because not only would I have a job but I'd have a roof over my head. But at the same time I wasn't sure if I can trust him. "I understand if you say no, we did just meet. Actually I guess this was a pretty stupid idea. Just forget I said anything." He scratched the back of his neck and looked down. 

"No, no. It's fine. Would you really be willing to take me in?" I figured that the worst that could happen is he tries something and I just leave. I can defend myself if needed. 

"If you want to that is." He looked somewhat hopeful. 

"Okay." I smiled and began to follow him down the street to his place.

~*~

It was maybe a twenty minute walk from Jessica's to Nate's. He had a small, one story house with a gravel path that led to his front door, which was just plain white. The house itself was made from light gray bricks with Windows scattered here and there. Some of which I could tell that the blinds were broken. 

Above the door I noticed little key chains hanging that seemed to be characters from Steven Universe. There was Steven, Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl and Lapis. I smiled at them, thinking about how I needed to catch up on it. 

"You watch Steven Universe?" Nate asked as I looked back at him. He unlocked the door and I nodded, following him into the house. 

"Yeah, I'm really far behind though. I haven't really had much time to catch up considering I don't have a computer.." I laugh awkwardly as I took in my surroundings. This place was a nerd's heaven and I was honestly in love. 

To my left was the living room. The first thing I noticed is the couch with throw pillows made to look like different pokéballs, the normal, great ball, ultra ball, and master ball. 

Next I noticed the pictures hanging on the wall as I explored. One was of Nate and two other guys seeming to be goofing off in a recording studio. It was nice to see the genuine happiness of these three boys, something I've personally haven't felt in years. 

Next to that was a picture of Nate and a girl with light brown hair. The girl is smiling at the camera but Nate has his attention fixed on the girl, a loving smile on his face as he has his arm around his shoulder. I'm not sure why, but I felt a pang of jealousy hit me. I found myself wishing I was that girl. It scared me a little, I haven't felt that way toward anyone in years and I just met him. Why was he making me feel this way already. 

I shake my head and try to get these thoughts out of my head. I didn't want to ruin anything or stress myself out thinking about it. "That's Morgan." I jumped as he came up behind me. "Sorry about that," he laughed. "She's my girlfriend.." He didn't sound as happy about it as he looks in the photo, but that's probably my wishful thinking kicking in again. I'm not going to let it happen this time. Not again..

I just nod as I continue exploring. "So, who's your favorite Steven Universe character?" I asked, leaning against the door frame for the living room. 

"I'd probably have to say Lapis." He smiled. "What about you?" 

I say and thought for a moment. "I know a lot of people would probably say this, but right now it's Garnet. I'm still only on season one and the last episode I watched is the one where Peridot, Jasper, and Lapis come to earth." I explain. He nodded. 

"Well, you won't have to worry about that for long! We'll get you caught up!" He puts his arm on top of my head and leans against me, reminding me of how short I actually was. He sends me a goofy looking grim then takes my bag off my shoulder. "Let me show you to your room."

"I can carry that just fine." I smirk as he walks away with my bag. 

"I know."

I roll my eyes and follow him to a room in the back corner near the kitchen. It seemed to be a guest room as there really wasn't much in the room. Just a full size bed, a desk and chair, and a desk lamp. "I know it's not much, but in time I'm sure this room could be Harper heaven!" I laugh at his enthusiasm. It was hard to feel anything but joy when you're around him, and that was something I desperately needed. I know we only met like half an hour ago, but I can already feel that something in him was different. Different than anyone I've met before. He was the first person who has ever really taken a chance with me. He never asked any invasive questions about my living situation or why, he just accepted it as it is. He didn't need to. He's the first person I've met to help out a complete stranger like this for just for the sake of doing something nice. Just out of the kindness of his own heart and o couldn't be more grateful. I just hope I don't find a way to mess this up like I've ruined every other friendship. 

"I'll make us some dinner if you want?" I nodded, eyes closed in my own thoughts. I could feel tears forming, not sad or angry tears, but for the first time in years, they were happy tears. "Hey, are you alright?" I looked to Nate who had a worried and confused look on his face. I nodded and smiled. 

"Thank you. For everything." He came over and hugged me. 

"Of course. I don't think anyone in this world should have to go through that shit and I just want to try and help anyway that I can. I know we just met, but just know that I care, and when you feel comfortable enough, you can always come talk to me." I nodded and we released from our embrace. "Want to help me make pasta?" My eyes widened. "Hell yeah! I don't remember the last time I've had pasta!" He laughed at my sudden childishness. 

"Someone's excited."

"It's not like it's my favorite or anything." I grinned as I followed him to the kitchen. 

"I guess I'll have to keep that in mind." He chuckled as we made our way to the kitchen.


	3. Chapter Two

I sat on the back porch, staring off into the winter night sky and counting the stars. The jacket that Nate gave me encompasses me in blissful warmth as I let my mind wander. I noticed every single detail of the yard and the sky. The light reflecting perfectly off the pure white snow, how the stars seemed to flash continuously as if they were dancing. They were dancing for a enormous audience and not many stop to appreciate the performance much anymore. It's peaceful. 

The air was cool and cut right through my face, sending shivers down my warm body. This seems to be the first time I've really seen actual snow in L.A. Let alone it to get below 50 degrees. In a way, I kind of preferred it this way. Nights are much more peaceful to me. In fact, being here in this moment, being with Nate now; I've never felt more at peace. And it felt amazing. 

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, snapping me out of my trance. I take me phone out to see that I have an email. I was surprised when I realized this phone could get email considering how old it was. It was one that slid to reveal the key board and it was a royal purple color. I've had this thing for as long as I can remember and it is son incredibly slow that I barely use it anymore. 

I open the email and start reading. My eyes widen when I realize its from my phone company. I haven't payed my phone bill and now they're going to deactivate my phone. I let out a deep sigh and tossed my phone to the side. Its not like I'll have much use for it anyway. Mom never calls and almost all my friends have disowned me anyway. I never go on the internet and I rarely check my emails. So I really have no use for it anyway. 

I heard someone, Nate, come up beside me and sit down. "Something wrong?" I shrugged and looked at my phone that was sitting on the ground between us. 

"No, not really. My phone is getting deactivated but I don't really care anymore. I never used it anyway." I shrugged as he picked it up. 

"Out of curiosity, when's you're birthday?" I look at him with a confused expression as he holds my phone and gives me a smirk. 

"Oh no, I know what you're getting at and I appreciate it but I don't want you to. You've done enough already by giving me a job and a place to live and I don't want to ask anything else of you."

"It's not asking if I offer. Plus, we do need a way to communicate when we're not together, even if it's just for work related stuff." He flashed me a smile and I rolled my eyes. 

"Fine, but nothing too fancy. I don't need much." He nodded in agreement as we look back at the snowy ground as snow began to fall once more. We stayed in a comfortable silence, just enjoying each other's company. "Can I ask you a question?" I ask as I look down at the snow by my feet. 

"Shoot."

"Why are you so nice to me?" I turn to face him and he looks completely dumbfounded, as if I had just asked the stupidest question ever. "I mean- we just met. You know nothing about me and for all you know I could've been some bum looking to steal money or some shit but you took a chance with me. Why?"

He stared at me for a few seconds, then gave me a small smile. "Because I like to try and see the good in people, no matter what." He looked forward as he continued. "I could tell that you needed help, so I wanted to try and help in any way that I can." I nodded and looked back at the snow. 

~*~

"Hey guys, NateWantsToBattle here and welcome back, to more Pokémon fusions!" My eyes slowly open to the sudden noise. It was very faint but I could still make out what was being said. I was confused for a few seconds, wondering where I was and who I was hearing. As I began to wake up and become more alert, I started to remember the events from last night. 

I sat up and stretched my arms out, looking over at the clock to read the time. It was about 11 in the morning. This made me happy in a way, I actually got sleep for once. 

My attention went to the faint sounds of Nate's voice. I was confused as to who he may have been talking to. I wasn't sure what the hell he was doing. I walked out of my room and followed his voice to the other side of the house. I didn't want to awkwardly interrupt whatever he was doing, so I just listened from outside the door for a few minutes. 

"I think I'm going to leave this here. Thank you all so much for watching and leave a like if you want more and I'll see you guys later. Bye!" It was silent for a bit, so I figured he was done. I knocked on the door softly, but enough to where he could hear. "Come in!" He called. I open the door to a medium sized room with blue walls. The walls had sound blocking padding all over that honestly didn't work very well in my opinion. He had two large computer monitors on his desk and a camera pointed at his face. "Well good morning." He laughs. 

"Good morning. Can I ask what all this is?" I laugh along with him. 

"I do YouTube. I have two separate channels, my main channel where I do music, covers, original songs about video games or anime and stuff like that. Then there's my second channel which is gaming or challenges and stuff." I nod, realizing why exactly he needed help in a recording studio. 

"I'll have to watch some of your videos some time then. I haven't watched much YouTube lately." He saved the recordings to his computer then followed me out to the kitchen. 

"How about we go somewhere for breakfast?" Nate suddenly asks as I look through the fridge for something to eat.

"It's almost lunch time." I laugh a little as I shit the fridge door and sit next to him at the table. 

"So? I just want to go somewhere! How about iHop?" I nod and get up. 

"Sounds good to me, I just need to get changed, which probably won't take that long in all honesty." I head back to my room and shut the door. I grab my bag and pull out a random t-shirt that had a little chibi version of me holding a bisexual flag. It was a shirt that one of my best friends from high school had made for me and I just never had the heart to get rid of it. It means too much to me.

I grab my jeans - the only pair I own now that fit - and put them on. The hole in the left knee just kept getting bigger and bigger but I didn't really care. I quickly brush my short brown hair and make my way back to the kitchen. 

"Nice shirt, that's adorable!" Nate says as he grabs his keys from the kitchen counter. 

"Thanks. An old friend of mine made it years ago." I smile at the memories. I wish we were still friends. She's the only one who really understood me. Part of me wished I could take back some of the things I said to her, I had truly broken her heart. 

"Morgan is coming over later." Nate sounded a bit annoyed at this. We walked out the door and made our way to his car. 

"That's good." I say, getting in the passenger seat, no real emotion. I don't know why I felt this way, why I felt jealous. I've known the guy for a day. 

"I guess. It's just that she can be a bit too controlling at times. I'm worried about what she'll think about you living with me. I just don't want to have another fight with her." I nod, understanding the situation. 

"In a way I could kind of understand it. Not everyone would think that letting a total stranger into your home to live with you would be a good idea. I know my mother wouldn't." I shrug. 

"It's more so the fact that she doesn't like the idea of me having female roommates. Apparently she's paranoid and thinks that I would cheat on her which I would never do and she should know that by now." I nod and decide not to press the subject any further. 

As we pull out of the driveway, I turn on the radio and I hear one of my favorite songs playing, 'Victorious' by Panic! At The Disco. Immediately I began to sing along, Nate joining in. I was in amazement at Nate's voice. He was an incredible singer and I could see why people would would like him, his voice alone is enough to make a girl melt. 

"Oh we gotta turn up the crazy! Living like a washed up celebrity! Shooting fireworks like its the Fourth of July!" I smiled at how cute Nate looked when he was in the zone. 

I'll admit. I knew by now that I was attracted to him. But that was it, just infatuation. Maybe that's what all these feelings are. Just infatuation. It'll go away in time... I hope. 

"You know, Harper, you should do a colab with me some time. You have an amazing voice." I felt my cheeks heat up as I look out the window. 

"I don't know, I don't really sing much. Especially not for a lot of people. I don't even feel like I'm that good."

"Don't be modest, you're great! I'm not going to force you to do anything you're uncomfortable with but if you ever want to, we should totally do it!" I smile and nod as we pull up into the ihop parking lot. 

~*~

"Morgan should be here soon. Maybe the three of us can go out and do something together?" Nate and I sat on the couch, just having a lazy day. The thought of being with the two of them made me feel extremely uncomfortable. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for Nate that he has her and all, but I just hate being the third wheel. My only real friend at the moment was Nate and I feel like I'd just be in the way or a bother to him if I came along with him and Morgan. Its just be awkward. 

"I think I'll pass. Maybe I can go for a walk near the park or something." Nate looked a little disappointed as I said this. "I just don't want to be the third wheel, you know? I feel like I'd just be intruding or be bothering you guys." 

"You're not bothering anyone." Nate shrugged. I turned away from the tv and raises my brow. 

"Speak for yourself." Nate rolled his eyes and leaned back into the couch. 

"She'll get over it. She always gets mad when I make new female friends but like an hour later she's over it and talking to them like nothing happened. And besides, I think you two will get along just fine... eventually." I shake my head and laugh. 

"Are you sure?" In all honesty, I did want to go. I wanted to spend more time with Nate, but I didn't want to be a bother. 

"Of course! It'll be fun!" Nate smiled and looked back at the tv, me doing the same. We sat there watching the tv for another hour, waiting for   
Morgan to get here. As another episode of Rick and Morty started, the front door opened. 

"Hey, Nate! Where you at!" Oh god...


	4. Chapter Three

We walked down the sidewalk together, me trailing behind as I expected. Every now and then Nate would look back with an expression on his face as if to say he were sorry. I just smile and keep walking. I felt my lungs in the pit of my stomach as I look at their intertwined hands. No, I can't be having these feelings. You don't really feel that way, he was just being nice to you, Harper. Things will just end badly if you develop feelings for him. 

We walked past different shops and food places, Nate constantly asking where she wants to go. Her answer always being "I don't know." She was obviously bored and wanted to be doing anything else but this. In all honesty, I felt the same way. The atmosphere was so awkward and I knew it was all because of me. 

Eventually we decided to stop at Star Bucks, Morgan's choice obviously. I absolutely hate this place with a burning passion. Just every thing about this place grinds my gears, how fake the employees are, how you constantly see basic white girls every where and I don't even know what's in half of the stuff on their menu. 

"You want anything?" Nate asks as we sit at a table in the back corner. I shake my head and smile. 

"No, but thanks." He nods and leaves to go and order for him and Morgan. 

"So, what's the deal. Are you two related or something?" I roll my eyes. Here comes the interrogation. 

"No, we're just friends. We only just met yesterday but he offered me a job to help him in his recording studio and I said yes." She raises her eye brow and gives me a dirty look. 

"Where do you love then?"

"With him." I just say honestly. If she gets mad, that's her problem. 

"I just want you to know that Nate is mine and always will be. Nothing your little homeless, broke, queer ass can do will change that. And don't act like I don't see the way you look at him. Keep your greedy hands to yourself, bitch." My eyes widen at her sudden outburst. She has a smug look on her face, proud of what she's done. I bite my tongue to stop myself from going any further. I don't want to make the situation worse. 

Pretty soon, Nate came back with their drinks and I was wanted out of there as soon as possible. But of course the universe is out to get me. "Hey, how are you guys getting along so far?"

Before I could say anything, Morgan butts in with the most fake ass smile I've ever seen on anyone. "Great, babe! Harper and I will need to hang out more!" She glares at me as I sit back with my arms crossed. I noticed Nate staring at my arm, a confused look on his face. I look at where he's looking to see the scar from where I had a tattoo removed. Memories of my ex came flooding back and I felt my heart rate accelerate. 

"Are you okay?" Nate asked. I nodded as I snapped out of my thoughts. 

"Yeah, just some bad memories is all. If you're wondering about the scar, I had a tattoo removed a few years ago. I'd rather not go into much detail." Once again, Morgan opens her big mouth. 

"Oh, c'mon, I want to hear about it!" I grit my teeth and clench my fists as my ears start ringing. I need to get out of here fast. 

"I'm going to go home. Text or call if you need anything Nate." I grabbed my stuff and rushed out of the Star Bucks, making my way down the side walk. I take deep breaths as I made my way back to the house, which only took about fifteen minutes. 

As I approached the door, I suddenly realized something. I didn't have a key. "Fuck!" I shout. I didn't know when Nate would be back, so to kill time I made my way to the park. Its a place I like to do my thinking when I started to get my panic attacks. I spend hours at a time sitting on the swing, just watching the people walk by until I eventually calm down, but for some reason, I couldn't call down. I didn't feel calm and peaceful like I did with Nate. Thoughts were swarming around in my head and it was so overwhelming. Nate, Morgan, my ex, my life in general. For the first time in months I started to break down. 

Once I reached the park, I walked straight past the swings and headed for a large tree on the corner of the park. I sat in the snow under the tree and hugged my knees tightly to me. I closed my eyes and tried my best to calm myself down, but to no avail. Soon, the noises around me became replaced with ringing and my vision went blurry, a combination of tears and a migraine. My throats was closing up and I suddenly found it hard to breathe. My body went numb and I lost all control. All I could see was darkness. I knew I was still awake and conscious, but everything was being blocked out. 

I don't know how long I was like this, but eventually I felt the warmth of a body near mine. It's arms wrapped around my body and at first I tense up, but soon start to relax. I hear the sound of someone calling my name, it's faint, but I can make it out to be Nate's voice. My body starts to relax even more, quiet sobs escaping my lips as I lean into his chest. 

I was finding it hard to come down from this, but Nate was making this easier. He must have realized this as well as he began to start singing. 

"Take a moment to think of just flexibility, love, and trust. Take a moment to think of just flexibility, love, and trust.

Here comes a thought that might alarm you, what someone said and how it harmed you. Something you did that failed to be charming, things that you said are suddenly swarming. 

And oh, you're losing sight. You're losing touch. All these little things seem to matter so much that they confuse you. That I might lose you. 

Take a moment remind yourself, to take a moment and find yourself. Take a moment and as yourself if this is how we fall apart. But it's not, but it's not, but it's not, but it's not, but it's not. It's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay. You've got nothing, got nothing, got nothing, got nothing to fear. I'm here, I'm here, I'm here."

As he sang I felt my self start to calm down. I had stopped shaking and I could hear clearly again. My vision was still blurry from my tears, but I was able to make out shapes. I sat up and leaned against Nate's shoulder as I sang with him. 

"Here comes a thought that might alarm me, what someone said and how it harmed me. Something I did that failed to be charming, things that I said are suddenly swarming. 

And oh, I'm losing sight. I'm losing touch. All these little things seem to matter so much that they confuse me. That I might lose me. 

Take a moment remind yourself, to take a moment and find yourself. Take a moment and ask yourself if this is how we fall apart. But it's not, but it's not, but it's not, but it's not, but it's not. It's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay. You've got nothing, got nothing, got nothing, got nothing to fear. I'm here, I'm here, I'm here. 

And it was just a thought, just a thought, just a thought, just a thought, just a thought. It's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay. We can watch, we can watch, we can watch, we can watch them go by, from here, from here, from here. 

Take a moment and think of just flexibility, love, and trust. Take a moment and think of just flexibility, love, and trust."

I began to relax more into his embrace. My body seeming to melt at the sound of our voices harmonizing perfectly. I had finally stopped crying and was in a coherent state of mind. I looked at him and he was staring at me. I instantly felt my cheeks heat up as I realized what he just witnessed. "I-I'm sorry. I don't usually get like that." I scoot away from him, feeling embarrassed with myself and also fearful that Morgan was around. 

"It's completely fine. I'm not here to judge. I'm here to help, remember." I nod and look back. "How about we go back home?" He stands up and extends his arm to help me up, which I gladly accepted.

"Where's Morgan?" I suddenly ask. Why did I ask that? I shouldn't be asking about her, he might think something's up.

"She went home. She got mad when I wanted to come check on you, considering you don't have a key... Sorry about by the way." I shrug. 

"It's fine." We walked silently back to his house, my nose running from being out in the cold for so long. 

"Can I ask why you don't want to talk about your scar?" I sighed and look down at it. 

"I'll probably tell you eventually, but I'm not really ready to talk about it. Just know that the person I got the tattoo for wasn't really a healthy person for me." He nodded as he unlocked the door. I hung my jacket on the hook behind the door and plopped on the couch. 

"You want to play some video games?" Nate walks over, grabbing some controllers. I smile at his attempt to lighten the mood. 

"Sure, why not?" I say, grabbing one from his hand.


	5. Chapter Four

(A/N: I'm gonna say this now, I know a lot of this is going to be inaccurate. I know nothing about recording song or any of that stuff so I'm just kind of making it up as I go haha. And the times at which in this story he releases songs/albums and stuff aren't going to be exactly the same time as when he released them in real life. I'm purposely switching some things around for the sake of the story, so I don't want anyone telling me that I said something wrong or gave inaccurate information about something. It's fiction. Most of this is made up so just enjoy the story for what it is. If you have legitimate criticism like the way I word something or just my writing in general, I'm okay with that. I just had to get that out before I continued haha. Have a good day and enjoy!)

I have been living with Nate for about two and a half weeks now and so far everything has been going smoothly. I have started working with Nate in his studio, helping him record some up coming five night this at Freddy's songs. So far, they sound amazing and the fact that I get to hear these songs throughout this process makes it all the more special. We're close to finishing a song that he had been previously working on, "The End", which happens to be my favorite of his five nights at Freddy's songs. All we need is to record his vocals now. 

Most of today has been spent in the studio, editing together the audio for the song and making sure everything is in sync. I'm about halfway through the song when Nate walks in. 

"Hey, how's it coming along? Need any help?"  
I shake me head and look away from the screen. I hadn't realized how much my eyes hurt from staring at the screen so long without a break. 

"It's coming along great! Already halfway through." I chuckle, rubbing my eyes. He sits in the chair next to me and leans back. 

"Well, lets hear what you've got so far!" Personally I thought it sounded great so far but I was still nervous as to how Nate would think it sounds. I take a deep breath and press play on the preview. At the beginning I added a sort of deep electronic sound that faded into the guitars. Normally I would ask someone before doing so merging like that, but I thought I'd just let my creativity flow and see how it goes. If he doesn't like it I can always change it. 

Nate smiles as the recording finishes. "Wow, that sounds amazing! I really like what you did at the beginning!" I blush and look away. 

"Thanks, I just thought I'd try to add a little creativity to it." He wraps his arm around my shoulder and pulls me in. 

"I should've found you a lot sooner." He rubs the top of my head and stands up. "I'm going to make myself some food, you want anything?"

"Grilled cheese?" I instinctively said. I felt a little embarrassed at how fast I responded. I sometimes feel like a child when I talk about how much I love grilled cheese. "Sorry, I just really love grilled cheese and I've been craving one." I laugh awkwardly as I tap my fingers on the desk. Nate shakes his head and laughs. 

"You got it!" He smiles as he closes the door behind him. I sat back in the chair, relaxing as I began to close my eyes. Soon, I hear my phone start to ring. I'm surprised that my phone was still turned on, but what surprised me even more what's the name on the caller ID. I could feel my hands start to get sweaty and my heart began to race. I felt a lump form on my throats as I debated whether or not to answer it. Finally I built up the courage. I hit the green button and held the phone up to my ear, staying silent. Finally, she spoke. 

"Hello.. Harper."

"Mom." For a few a seconds it was just the sound of the two of us breathing. 

"How-how are you?" She seemed to have been crying from the sound of her voice. But once again, I didn't care. It's like all my emotions have just been drained by this one person. All I feel now is paranoia and emptiness. 

"Why do you even care?" I snapped, wanting this conversation to be over. 

"Harper, please don't do this to me."

"Do this to you?! You weren't even there for me. How the fuck do you think I feel?" I went from feeling emotionless to feeling nothing but anger. 

"I care about you, so much! How do you think I feel having a daughter who's throwing her life away?" At that point I lost it. I finally snapped and poured out all of my feelings I've been bottling up for the past ten years. 

"You never payed attention to how I was feeling! It was always about you! How I made you look! All you cared about was how successful I was going to be! You never asked how I was feeling, what I wanted to do, anything! And believe me, I tried my best in school. I wanted to make you happy. But that's very hard when you can't even control your own emotions. I've lost all motivation to continue. I feel nothing anymore. Depression has taken over me and I hate it. It hurt when you pushed me away. I've needed help for so long and you never noticed! All you cared about was yourself." By now, I was in tears. I was hoping she would open her eyes and understand, but I was sadly mistaken. 

"I can't believe you right now. I've done NOTHING but try to help you! How can you say that this was my fault?! You're the one who threw your life away! I'll never understand why. And don't make up excuses. You're not depressed, you're just full of yourself!"

"I've tried to kill myself multiple times! I've never told you because I knew you'd be like this. If you don't want to help me, then stay out of my life!" I'm sobbing at this point. Nothing but angry tears. 

"Harper-"

"Just stay out of my life!" I hung up and slammed the phone on the counter. I turn the chair around to see Nate standing in the doorway. I clench my fists and turn the chair back towards the computer. "How much did you hear?"

He set the sandwich in front of me and sat down in the chair next to me, bringing me into an embrace. I knew he most likely heard of not all, most of the conversation. We sat like that for a while as the tears continued. "Is it true?" He finally asked. I wasn't sure what he meant. 

"Is what true?"

"Is it true that you tried to kill yourself?" I sat up and looked him in the eye. I have never seen anyone look more concerned for my well being than this man right here. I didn't understand how he could care so much about someone he barely know. 

"Yes." I sighed and looked away. "In all honesty, I still have thoughts. Everyday. Even on my good days. They never go away and I hate it."

We stayed silent for what seemed like years. "Would seeing a therapist or a psychiatrist help maybe?" Nate asked. I shrugged. 

"I don't know. Maybe. I've never been because I knew my mom would never listen."

"Well she's not here. You know what's best for you, not her. She doesn't control you anymore. Now promise me you'll try to get some help? And I'll promise to help in anyway I can."

I nodded and hugged him again. "I promise."

~*~

I spent the next few hours eating grilled cheese and trying to concentrate as Nate popped on every once in a while to throw random shit at me. A swear that boy is actually a child. And don't get me wrong, he did help every now and then, but he did have to step away to take care of other stuff for his channels, which is totally understandable. 

I sighed in relief as I finished putting together the last past of the music audio for the song. I hit save and leaned back in the chair, grateful that the hard part was over. It's not that I hate doing this, I absolutely love it, but it is so time consuming. 

My relaxation was short as Nate knocks on the door. "Come in." I sigh and sit up in the chair. 

"All done already?" I nod and smile with pride. "Impressive." He smirks and leans against the door frame. 

"Thank you, I try." I attempted to do a sassy hair flip, which didn't work as well as I had hoped with my jawline length hair. Nate chuckled as he continued. 

"Well I just wanted to let you know that in about a week and a half I'm going to be going on a mini tour type thing. I'm gonna be playing some new songs and maybe a q and a. It'll only be for about a month and we'll be going to a few cities. You interested in coming?" I smiled at the offer. 

"Sure, why not? It'll give me a chance to get out of L.A. for once." I shrugged. I got up and followed him out of the room and into the living room. 

"Since we have some free time now, how about we get you caught up on Steven Universe?" I felt my head peek up at the thought and for the first time in a while, a since of excitement and joy overcame me. It overpowered my dull empty feeling. I'm not sure why, but it did and that's all I care about. "I'll take that as a yes!" He laughs as we sit on the couch and he sets up the tv. 

~*~

"Apparently more than you-you CLOD!!" My eyes widen as I watch. "Damn! Peridot is fucking savage." I laugh at the face that Yellow Diamond is making as I lean back into the couch. I look down in my lap where Nate has made himself comfortable a few episodes ago to find that he fell asleep. I roll my eyes and continue watching. "Glad someone's comfy." I laugh to myself as I position myself carefully so that I don't wake him up.


	6. Chapter Five

(A/N: just a heads up, there's a trigger warning coming up. I will put a warning right before for anyone who needs it. <3)

"Sometimes I wish it'd had been her instead of Michael." I felt the lump in my throat form as I listened to my mother. "I don't care what you think. This girl has caused nothing but more stress in my life. Michael would have known what to do.."

Is this all I am to her? Stress? Waste of space? Does she really wish I had died that day instead of my father? I wasn't even born yet. Does she really blame me for dad's death? 

My parents got into a car accident the day my father was taking my mother to the hospital to have me. Ever since I've never really been able to celebrate my birthday on the actual day. Not that I'm complaining though, at least I still get a birthday. 

"No, don't get me wrong, I love Harper to death, she's the last thing I have of him.." I could tell she was crying now. This just made me feel even worse. I could feel my heart rate accelerating and my vision started to go blurry. Immediately I ran upstairs and to my bathroom. 

***TRIGGER WARNING***

I looked in the mirror at my reflection and was disgusted with what I saw. My eyes were puffy from crying, my hair was frizzy and my face was covered in acne. All I saw was a disappointment. My own mother wishes I had been dead that day. My friends have all left me. I was nothing but garbage. It was a week until my sixteenth birthday, but I didn't care anymore. 

I started breathing faster and faster as I paced around the room, tugging my hair at the roots. My body started to shake and everything was starting to go black. All I can feel is fear, pain, and emptiness. All at once. I'm constantly feeling this and I'm tired of it. I just want it to end. 

I just want it to end....

Before I could comprehend what was happening, I was rushing to my moms bathroom and grabbing whatever pills I could find. My hands shakes as tears fell into my hands. I slowly brought them to my mouth when I heard a voice that stopped me. 

"Harper! Wake up!"

~*~

I snapped my eyes open and shot up, still breathing heavily. The memories kept swarming my head. If it hadn't been for Jessica that day, I wouldn't be here right now. I looked around and saw Nate sitting next to me looking scared half to death. 

"Nate.." I whispered quietly. I remembered that we were in our hotel room in San Francisco. I was safe, I was away from my mother, I had Nate. I put my head into my hands and began to sob. "Why do you keep me around?"

He was silent. I looked up at him to see a confused look on his face. "What do you mean?" He scoots over and tries to put an arm around me, but I scoot away. He looked hurt, which hurt me but this just didn't feel right anymore. 

"I mean why are you so nice. Why do you act like you care about me so much when you barely know me. All I've done since I've been here is cry, have panic attacks, and complain about my problems. Do you feel sorry for me? Is that it? Do you pity me? I don't know how someone as kind as you can stand to be around someone like me for so long." I stand up and walk to the window, staring out into the busy street below. 

"Because I can tell you mean well. You've got a great heart, Harper. In some ways you remind me of my sister. She had dealt with the same things as you." I turn around to look at him. He looked to small and vulnerable as he talked about his sister. "I was five when she took her life. She was fifteen. She never told any of us that she was struggling. I never understood why. I was mad at myself for years because I thought there was a way I could have prevented this, when in reality there was nothing I could do. That's why I started doing YouTube and music. I figured I could maybe put some smiles on people who need it most. I couldn't help my Maddie, but maybe I can help you." 

I was speechless. Words couldn't express the courage it must've taken for him to share that. I slowly walked over to Nate who's sitting on the bed with his head down. I stand in front of him and he looks up at me. "I am so sorry about Maddie." I bring him in for a hug and he cries into my chest. We stayed like that for a few minutes. I could tell that he was really tired. It was about two o'clock in the morning and he was struggling to stay awake. I took his hand and had him lay down in the opposite side of my bed. I really wanted to company. 

"You want me to sleep in your bed?" He asked. I nodded. 

"I don't want to be alone tonight.." I said quietly, remembering my dream. He nodded and climbed into bed. I got into bed next to him as he wrapped his arm around my waist. I felt my cheeks heat up and the butterflies fluttered in my stomach. I knew this was wrong. Morgan kept popping into my head but for some reason, it just felt right. It felt right to be with Nate in this moment right now. 

Soon I fell asleep with the comfort of Nate's arm around me and his soft breathing on the back of my neck. 

~*~

My eyes felt heavy as I forced them open, immediately regretting it as the sunlight shone right into my face. I groan and turn my body over. My body felt cold and I noticed that Nate had left. I sighed to myself and pulled the covers up toward my chin. There was no denying it now, that after about a month there were definitely feelings there for him and I hate myself for it. I know he loves Morgan and besides, even if he wasn't I don't see why he would ever find me interesting in that way. 

After a few minutes I decided to get up. I walked toward the mirror and looked at myself. You could see how tired I was and my hair was everywhere. I groaned and began to brush the tangled mess. Feeling lazy, I grab a loose sweatshirt with a star on it. It was pink and resembled Steven'a shirt from Steven Universe. I remember begging my ex for this sweatshirt when I saw it at hot topic. He never understood my love for the show in all honesty. He never understood me in general. It was probably the most unhealthy relationship I've been in. Shaking my head, I grab a pair of plain black leggings and thrown them on, along with a pair of black toms. 

I looked out the window and down at the busy streets. Today was a beautiful day and didn't seem like it was too cold. Maybe I'll get back into walking. I used to do that a lot when I was still in college. It made me feel great afterward. I turn around and grab my purse and my phone. I checked to see if I had any messages, but all I got was a notification that my phone had been officially deactivated. I rolled my eyes and threw it onto my bed. 

"Well fuck. This is great." I walked into the living area of our hotel room and saw Nate sitting on the couch with his acoustic guitar. 

"Hey, Harper!" He smiled as I stood in the doorway. 

"Hey." I sighed and walked over to the door to grab my jacket. 

"Are you alright?" I turn around and looked at Nate and saw a concerned look on his face. 

"Yeah. My phone got deactivated today. At least whenever I'm able to get a new phone, I'll be able to get my number changed. Then my mom can contact me." I laugh to myself. 

"You know, you still haven't told me when your birthday is." I roll my eyes and shake my head. 

"January nineteenth." I smile and start to walk out the door. "I'm going for a walk. I'd say call if you need anything but that wouldn't work.. I'll be back later though."

"Alright!" I walk out the door and shut it behind me. I walk down the long hallway to the elevator where there was one other person waiting. A tall, intimidating looking man. He didn't say anything as I approached the elevator, just stared at me. I smiled at him as I the elevator arrived and the people got off. I stepped in, the man following. I pressed the first floor button and turned to the man who was still staring at me. At this point I was starting to feel a little uncomfortable. 

"Which floor, sir?" I asked, trying not to make eye contact. He didn't say anything as he reached across me to hit the third floor button. "Alright.." The ride from the seventh floor to the third was short, but it felt like an eternity. The entire time I could feel his eyes on me and I could feel my heart start to race. When we finally did reach the third floor, I felt relief wash over me. He stepped out and turned around to look at me again. He stared at me until the doors closed. I bit my lip and lean against the wall of the elevator and let go of the breath I didn't realize I was holding. That was probably one of the most creepy and uncomfortable experiences of my life. "What's up with that guy?" I muttered as I exit the elevator on the first floor. 

My mind wandered back to last night as I exit the hotel and start walking down the street. I thought about the conversation with Nate and how he opened up to me about his sister. His face coming into view from that night. He looked so vulnerable as he talked about her. I was surprised that he was so willing to open up about that to me. I thought about how good his arms felt around me last night. Just thinking about it sent a storm of butterflies off in the pit of my stomach. "What is wrong with me.." I said to myself as I entered Starbucks.

As I waited in line, I noticed a girl around my age had been staring at me. "Great, another creep.." I muttered to myself as I ordered my coffee. I payed and grabbed my coffee and made my way out of the Starbucks and continued walking down the sidewalk. I had been walking for about ten minutes when I felt someone tap on my shoulder. "Hiya!" I jumped as the girl from the Starbucks came up beside me. 

"Did you follow me?!" I ask as I put my hand to my chest. She laughed and shook her head. 

"Maybe. You just caught my attention at Starbucks and thought I had to introduce myself. My name's Lisa!" She winked at me and started laughing again. She had a very friendly and welcoming smile. Her hair was in a bun and was colored purple and pink where the purple transitioned into the pink. Her hair must have grown a lot since she colored it because her roots were very noticeable. She was a natural brunette, like me. She was much shorter than me, to a point where I could rest my chin comfortably on top of her head if I wanted to. 

I turned my head forward and sighed. "I'm Harper." She was silent for a while before she finally spoke. 

"That's a pretty name. Does it mean anything?" I rolled my eyes. 

"No. My dad just liked the name." I scoffed. I wasn't sure why I was still talking to her, but I was. She nodded and continued to walk with me. I was getting a little annoyed with her following me, so I finally spoke up. "Look, is there something you need? Why are you still following me?" I realize that I sounded a lot harsher than I had intended. "I'm sorry. I just haven't been in the best mood lately."

"It's alright! I'm sorry if you feel like I'm bothering you. Here, take this. Call me sometime." She puts a piece of paper in my hand and winks as she walks away. I opened up the piece of paper

xxx-xxx-xxxx   
\- Lisa Xoxo

I felt my cheeks heat up when I realize she was trying to hit on me. I wasn't sure what to do at this point. Part of me wanted to text her later, the other part just wants to forget that this ever happened. I shake my head as I continue walking down the sidewalk. 

~*~

I walk into the hotel room, shutting the door behind me and collapsing face first into the couch. "Hey, Harper!" I just grown into the pillow. "You alright?" I heard him walk into the living area. I hold up the piece of paper in the air and make more unintelligible noises. He takes the paper from my hand and chuckles. "Someone's popular with the ladies." I lift my head up and glare at him. He laughs and sits on top of me. 

"Jesus fucking Christ, get off of me fatty!" He continues to laugh, not budging. 

"Nah, I'm good. You're pretty comfy."

"Glad someone is." I roll my eyes and put my face back into the pillow.


	7. Chapter Six

Today was Nate's first show of his mini tour. You could tell from how his eyes would light up and the giant grin he had on his face that he was excited. He told me how much he enjoyed meeting his viewers. It makes him happy to know he makes thousands of others happy. They're also the reason he is able to have this career in the first place. If it weren't for people watching his videos and listening to his music, he wouldn't have any of this. 

It was about an hour until the show started. I really wanted to go, but I felt a little anxious and didn't know how well I'd do with all those people. Instead of just telling him the truth,I told him I wasn't feeling well, that I had a headache. Which wasn't a total lie. I just left out some details. 

"You sure you're going to be alright here by yourself?" Nate asked as he slipped on his leather jacket. I smiled and nodded. 

"I'll be fine. I've got food and Disney movies to keep me occupied." I held up the bag of chips I was snacking on and gestured to the laptop that was playing Big Hero 6. He shook his head and laughed. 

"You're adorable." I felt me cheeks heat up and I try to fight the smile coming on as I looked back at the laptop. I look back for a second to see his face turning red as he scratched the back of his neck, unaware that I was watching. "Well, I-I'll be back i-in a few hours." He stammered. I'll admit, it was so fucking adorable when he got nervous. 

"Alright." I smiled as he left the room, leaving me to my own devices. I wasn't paying as much attention to the movie as I usually do, my mind was constantly wandering back to Nate and it annoyed the hell out of me. Even when I'm alone, I can't stop thinking about my feelings for him.

Sighing, I give up on the movie and decide to go to YouTube for once. Maybe if I listen to some of his music or watch some of his gaming videos, it'll help to keep my mind from wandering elsewhere...

I type in 'Nate sharp' into the search bar of YouTube and was greeted with a whole list of songs. I noticed his channel name had the name 'NateWantsToBattle' beside his real name. "Of course." I laugh to myself as I find a random Legend of Zelda song to listen to called 'The Evil King'. The beginning sent chills down my spine as I hear the guitar and the drums going a long with the scenery of the lyric video. 

"The same old boy, from the same old house  
My how much you've grown, such a shame you'll die alone

Its been so long, but the time has come  
If only I knew, I should've known it would be you

Now I don't mean to alarm you, but these toys are far too much for you  
Now I aim to take what is mine, and now there's only one thing left to do now

It resonates, I'll take it all  
You're just in time to see the fall  
You heed the ever sounding call  
now you've lost it all

Called you the hero of our time  
you're just a thief took what is mine   
our fates were always intertwined  
and soon you'll find that I will be your king

I was young I had always known  
a barren desert that I roamed  
you could never understand how it feels to be alone  
But I was meant to rule this world   
You best say goodbye   
And now you're standing in my way  
And now I need my, I need my room to fly

Now I don't mean to alarm you, but these toys are far too much for you   
Now I aim to take what is mine, and now there's only one thing left to do now

It resonates, I'll take it all  
You're just in time to see the fall   
You heed the ever sounding call  
Now you've lost it all

Called you the hero of our time  
You're just a thief took what is mine  
Our fates were always intertwined   
And soon you'll find that I will be your king

You will see  
True suffering  
Together we make three, so you're always stuck with me  
My hate will cycle and will soon be born anew

It resonates I'll take it all  
You're just in time to see the fall   
You heed the ever sounding call   
Now you've lost it all 

Called you the hero of our time   
You're just a thief took what is mine   
Our fates were always intertwined   
And soon enough, my praises you will-  
I will be your-  
You'll never be my king!"

The last line sent goosebumps throughout my body. Nate really did have a talent for writing music. 

After watching a few more of his videos-gaming and music- I started to feel a little tired. I close the laptop and set it aside and get up to grab a towel. I take my towel to the bathroom and strip down, turning the shower on and letting the water warm up. I thought I had heard a knock at the door, so I peeked my head out of the bathroom door with the towel wrapped around my body. I listened for the door again, but didn't hear anything. I shrugged it off and shut the door again. 

I hung the towel on the hook next to the shower as I step in and let the hot water soak my body. I close my eyes as the warmth runs down my back, relaxing my tense muscles. 

After I washed my hair and body, I stayed in the shower for an extra twenty minutes, just enjoying the sensation, until the water started to get cold. I sighed and turned the water off and grabbed the towel; wrapping it around my body. I wiped the mirror to reveal my face and the steam filling the bathroom. I'll admit, I was looking much better nowadays. 

I was distracted from my thoughts to hear another knock at the door. The only person I thought it could be was Nate, but he's not supposed to be home for another couple of hours. Plus, even if he was back, he has a key card to get into the room. 

I open the bathroom door and make my way toward the door, towel still wrapped around my body. I looked through the peephole to see the man from the elevator earlier. Soon, his knocking turned into pounding. I was too scared to answer the door. Seeing him again gave me a sense of familiarity, but I couldn't remember where I've seen him before other than the elevator. 

"Harper!" The man shouted as he pounded on the door more. My heart rate started skyrocketing as I heard his voice. It was then I remembered who he was. He was Zack's friend; Zack being my ex boyfriend. I never knew his name, Only what he looked like. 

Quickly, I looked around the room for something to block the door. I saw a small bookshelf next to the door. It'll have to do for now. Without hesitation, I push the bookshelf in front of the door, hoping that will be enough to keep him out. Knowing him, he'll break down this door if he needs to. But why though? Why is he here? Why now? Did Zack find me?

My mind was racing as I ran back to the bathroom. I locked the bathroom door and started pacing back and forth, muttering random curse words as I tried desperately to think of a plan to get out of here. Of course we were given the one room in this hotel with a broken phone. I had no way of calling anyone. I was trapped in a hotel bathroom and I couldn't do anything to help myself. 

As my breath started to quicken, I shook my head. "No. Not now. You're stronger than this." I said to myself. I put on a stern face and quickly got my clothes on. I could hear him pounding harder. I knew he'd probably get in soon. I sat on the the lid of the toilet and tried to quickly come up with a plan. 

Finally, I had something that I thought would maybe work. My first thought was the window, but that'd be too risky since we're on the seventh floor. I decided I'd try and hide until I was sure I could sneak past him, then make a run for the door and run to the venue Nate is performing at. 

I quickly opened the door and looked around for a place to hide. On the wall opposite of the couch was a small door and looked like it'd be big enough for me to crawl into. It was pretty well hidden and you probably wouldn't be able to see it unless you knew it was there. I ran over and crouched down opening the door and crawling backwards into the crawl space and shutting the door in front of me. As I settled into my hiding space, I heard the door bust open. His heavy footsteps soon following. 

I could feel tears forming at the thought of him finding me. I shook my head. 'No, not now. You need to focus.' I thought to myself. As his footsteps drew closer, I covered my mouth to quiet my breathing. My hands were shaking as feet passed by the bottom of the door. I clenched my jaw as he turned around and began walking the other direction. I let go of a breath I dint realize I was holding and listened to see what room he was going into. I could hear him opening the closet in Nate's room, rummaging through his stuff. 'Now's my chance.' I thought. While he was distracted, I quietly opened the door and crawled out. I looked to the door and ran. I ran out the door and down the hall to the stairs. There wasn't enough time for the elevator. 

I ran down the six flights of stairs and through the lobby. "Ma'am, you can't run in here!" The lady at the front desk called out as I ran out the front door, but I didn't care. I needed to get away. 

I ran until I eventually made it to the venue. There was no one outside, but I could hear Nate's voice inside as he answered questions from his fans. I walk d to the front door and tried to open it, but it was locked. "I guess I'll have to wait for him in the back." I say to myself as I walk around back. The cool air made me shiver as it cut through me. My hair was still wet so it didn't make things much better. I sat on the steps that led to the back door and waited. I waited for maybe half an hour, when I heard a voice. 

*TRIGGER/RAPE WARNING*

"Harper." My body stiffened as I heard the all too familiar voice. My breathing quickened as he came next to me. I didn't say a word. He walks around to the front and I look down at my lap. "Look at me." I remained still, the only sounds being the sound of our breathing and the cars passing by on the street. He grabbed my face and pulled my head up to look at him, utter anger in his eyes. "I said look at me, you dumb bitch! What are you, deaf?" My eyes narrowed and I make the stupid decision to spit in his face. 

"I'm not afraid of you, Zack." I clench my fists as he lets go of my face and wiped my spit off his own. 

"Oh, but we all know how wrong you are." I stand up to try and run away, but he grabs my arm and pulls me toward him. "Oh no, not again." He smirked as he puts a hand over my mouth to muffle my screams and his other hand goes up my shirt, cupping my breast. Tears were flowing as I tried to escape his grasp, but I was too weak. 

He threw me down on my back into a pile of trash in the corner, still covering my mouth. He straddles me and pulls a knife out, holding it against my cheek. "You're gonna keep quiet now, or your little boy toy is going to get much worse. Do I make myself clear?" My eyes widen as he threatens Nate. "I said, do I make myself clear?" He shouts again, holding the knife closer. I nodded quickly as more tears fall. "Good." He flashed a disgusting grin as he releases his hand from my mouth. "God I missed you." He grunts as he rips my shirt with the knife. 

~*~

He had left a long time ago, but I still fear that he'll come back. I never left my spot in the trash. I was too in shock to move. My clothes were completely destroyed and I overall felt disgusted with myself. How could I have let Zack do that to me?

I must have been there for a long time, because I heard people piling out of the front of the building. They were completely unaware of what had happened. I layed there, staring at the sky with my chest exposed and my jeans and underwear down to my ankles. I just let the tears flow as people chatted with their friends without a care in the world. 

"Harper?" I hear a somewhat familiar voice. They come up to me and I'm able to see their face. It's Lisa. "What the hell happened?!" She helped me up and at that moment, the back door open and there stood Nate. I looked up at him and all I felt was shame. 

"Oh my god." Nate sets his stuff down at the top of the stairs and runs to me. "Harper are you okay?!" I wanted, so badly to tell him who did this, but I couldn't. Lisa gave me her jacket and helped me pull my pants back up. "Who did this?" Nate asked. 

"I don't know. I didn't see their face. I ran out of the hotel when they broke in. I ran here but I guess they followed me." I lied. Nate held me close and I started crying into his chest. He stroked by hair in an attempt to soothe me. 

"It's okay now. He's gone. You're safe with me."

They helped me up and started walking me back to the hotel. "I'm Lisa by the way." Lisa introduced herself to Nate. She seemed to be a bit nervous around him. Maybe she was a fan at his show? It would make sense as to why she was there at that time. 

"Nate. Were you at the show?" He asked as he shook her hand. She nodded. He smirked at me, reminding me about the fact that she was hitting on me just earlier today. I give a small smile as we continue down the sidewalk. 

As we walk into the building, I felt my sides starting to hurt. I knew there would probably some massive bruises there in the morning. I licked my lips and tasted blood, realized that my bottom lip was cut on one side. "Shit." I put my hand up to my mouth as we enter the elevator. 

"We'll take care of it when we get to the room." Nate reassures, squeezing my shoulders. When we got to the room, he was shocked to see the door busted open. "Holy fuck." We walked in and Lisa helped me to the couch. 

"I'll call the police." Lisa said, pulling out her phone. 

"Don't. Please. I just want to forget this happened." I didn't want police involved. I'm afraid that Zack might try something. 

"You can't be serious right now," Nate shouted as he came back into the room with a first aid kit. His sudden loudness made me flinch. "You can't just let this guy get away with this! He fucking hurt you Harper! I should have made you come with me. Shit this is my fault.." I put my hand on his face. 

"Nate. Calm down. Freaking out about this isn't going to change anything. It's not your fault. Neither of us knew this would happen. But it's okay now. I'm okay now. You're here now. That's all that matters." He nodded and hugged me.

"Promise me you'll come to the next show?" I nodded. At this point, I was afraid to be alone. I didn't care how many people would be there, I was just didn't want to be alone. 

"Am I okay to call the police?" Lisa asked. I nodded. Anything to put Nathan at ease. I just hope I'm not putting him in more danger.


	8. Chapter Seven

The next day was spent packing to leave for the next city and questions from police officers. It felt weird having the police show concern for me instead of interrogating me or arresting me for shoplifting. They constantly asked me about Zack, and each question I lied. 

I hated that he still had control over me. Now that I'm finally getting my shit together, here here to ruin everything once again. I don't know if I'd be able to live with myself with Zack had hurt Nate in anyway. If he did, it'd be my fault. I have never felt more guilty having someone in my life than I do right now. 

"May I ask why you didn't call anyone when the man was trying to break in?" The taller officer with blonde hair asked. He was starting to get on my nerves. 

"I've already told the other officer, I don't have my own phone and the phone in this room is broken." I sigh in frustration as I angrily throw my clothes into my suitcase on the bed. 

"Officer Neil, were heading out now." The officer in charge calls into the room. 

"Yes sir." Officer Neil writes down more notes before leaving me in the room by myself. 

"Finally." I roll my eyes as zip up my suitcase. I looked at the clock by my bed and saw that is was 10:30. 

"Do you need any help?" Lisa came into the room as I set my suitcase down on the ground. After the events of last night, she offered to stay here for the night. As I looked at her, I noticed different little things I hadn't noticed before. Like the mole she has above her lip on her right side, or how bright her blue eyes seemed. When she would show concern, they would change to a deeper blue, and when she was happy or excited about something, they would get lighter and seem so brighten up. When she smiled, you could see the gap in between her two front teeth. It was adorable. Over all, she was an attractive girl. 

I snapped out of my thoughts as Lisa snaps her fingers in my face. "Earth to Harper! You alright?" She laughs as she grabs my suitcase for me. I follow her out of the room and into the hall where Nate was waiting for us. 

"You ready, Harper?" I nodded and took my suitcase from Lisa. We walked in a comfortable silence to the elevator. I shudder at the memory of seeing that guy. Being in a confined space like that with him and I didn't even realize it. 

As we descended in the elevator, Nate's phone started ringing. "It's Morgan." Nate sighed. He answered the phone and I could hear their entire conversation within the tiny room. 

"So are you going to tell me what happened last night?"

"Look Morgan, now is not the best time to talk about this. It isn't even really my place to tell you."

"I don't like you being alone with her."

"Are we really going to start this now? I don't want Harper being alone right now. It's safer if she's with someone right now and at the moment, I'm all she's got."

"You're cheating on me aren't you!"

I rolled my eyes at her annoyed tone. 

"Oh you've gotta be fucking kidding me, Morgan-"

I could tell Nate was getting frustrated. Without thinking, I took the phone from his hand. 

"No. You're fucking lucky to have a boyfriend as loyal and caring as him. He would never cheat on you. If you can't see that then I don't know what to tell you. And if you want to know what happened last night so badly, then fine. I was raped. You happy? Now let's drop the subject and go on with our lives, okay?"

She stayed silent as I hand the phone back to Nate. "I have to go now. I'll call you later." Nate hangs up and shoves his phone in his pocket. 

I look forward as an awkward silence fills the room. I had forgotten briefly that Lisa was in the elevator with us, so she had heard every word of that conversation. "Nate, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking." 

"No, it's okay. Can I ask you a question though?" I nod and turn to look at him. "What do you think of Morgan and I. Like, as a couple."

Without hesitation, I respond. "In all honesty, I don't see this working out for much longer," I said truthfully. "The way you look at her isn't the same as the look you're giving her in the picture, and you just generally seem unhappy in your relationship. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with Morgan, but I don't think she's really right for you. You need someone who loves you whole heartedly and will trust you no matter what." He nods and looks forward. 

"I thought I was the only one." He said as we exit the elevator. 

~*~

We hadn't been on the road for very long when I noticed myself feeling nauseous. I don't normally get car sick, so I brushed it off a stomach bug or something. 

I looked behind me in my seat and reached for a bottle of water from the back seat. As I looked, I noticed a notebook that seemed to be pretty worn. Looking back, I see that Nate is preoccupied with driving. Being my nosy self, I take the notebook and began reading. It was mostly song lyrics to songs he's worked on and finished in the past. But the last entry was an unfinished song called StopRewind

"Day and night my mind is running,  
Reaching out 'cause I want something more,  
That I've never had before

I'm scared to chase what I've been dreaming,  
Beyond a want and now I need it.  
Push me by surprise,  
So I can take the dive

Day and night my mind is racing,  
Dents and foot prints I've been pacing,  
What am I supposed to find?

My god I'm the bait and the predator's my mind,  
It eats at me all the time.  
Can we stop and rewind?  
I'm not so sure.

When'd I become my own enemy?  
I don't understand what you see in me.  
'Cause I'm just another story.  
-That's not worth a reading-  
Now you've got me pinned up against the wall,  
Why aren't you afraid that I'll take a fall?  
There's more that came before me.  
Am I worth believing?  
I'm not so sure."

I wasn't sure if this was associated with anything or not, but to me it seemed like a 100% original, and I was in love with it so far. I noticed that the date he wrote that he last worked on this was yesterday. My eyes widen as I think. If he was questioning his relationship with Morgan, than who was this song about?

"You okay?" Nate's voice snapped me out of my thoughts and I quickly tucked the notebook back into the back of his seat as I grabbed my water bottle. 

"Yeah, fine. Just feeling a little car sick." I half way lied. 

"Do you need anything?" He asked, a look of concern in his face. I shake my head and take a sip of my water. 

"Nah, I should be okay. I'll just take a nap or something." I say as I get myself somewhat comfy in the uncomfortable seat, closing my eyes and letting my dreams take over. Well, more like nightmares...


	9. Chapter Eight

I opened my eyes to darkness. I couldn't see anything but an empty, black abyss around me. I couldn't even see my own hands in front of me. The concrete floor was cold and felt like it had many cracks in it. Next to me on the floor was the pillow I had been using when I was in the car with Nate. 

Nate...

What the hell happened? I don't remember anything after I fell asleep. I felt my heart starting to beat rapidly. 

"Hello?" I got no answer. Just the sound of dripping water. There must be a faucet nearby. I felt my body begin to shake at the unfamiliarity of the dark room. I was blind in here with only my sense of touch and hearing in my favor. 

Suddenly, a door opened behind me. I turned around and light began to fill the room. Standing in the doorway was a figure who seemed somewhat familiar, yet something felt off. "Nate?" I called out, hoping to find some solace in him. 

"Think again." I felt a shiver go down my spine as the man spoke. Suddenly the room lit up. I could see the man clearly. He looked and sounded just like Nate, but it wasn't him. He had blue lines going down his face from his eyes, which were soulless, cold and dark. His hair was slightly messy and he had an eerie grin on his face. 

"Where's Nate?" I pleaded. Standing up and clenching my fists. 

"Right here, sweetheart! Well, sort of." He stepped closer, that grin still on his face and his eyes seemingly fixed on me. I couldn't look away no matter how much I wanted to. "I'm the part of him he doesn't want anyone to see, the one he keeps locked away from everyone. I'm that devil on his shoulder. I remind him about reality. And now, I'm here to do the same for you."

My jaw clenched as he explained, walking around me and staring. "You don't scare me." He stopped and I turned to look at him. 

"Oh honey, this is only the beginning." He started laughing maniacally. Hearing that in Nate's voice sent chills throughout me. "You're in for your very own nightmare. They call me NateMare." He disappeared as I fell to my knees, not being able to get back up. 

"Tell me," he starts. I could hear NateMare's voice, but he was no where to be seen. "What do you see in us?" I stay silent. I felt a hand grab me harshly and turn me around. He got right up to my face. "Well?" 

"Go to hell." I jerk my head back as he backs up. 

"Been there, done that... not much fun if I must say. Messing with you guys will be so much more fun." He smiled and sat down across from me. "You know he'll never love you. You're nothing but a freeloading, problematic little slut who likes to go after what isn't theirs."

"Shut up." I look down at my lap. Trying to keep my composure. 

"You know it's true. And who knows Nate better than me? We're one and the same."

"You're nothing but a figment of my imagination!" I look back up to see him gone. 

"Then why am I still here?" He walks up behind me. "Maybe you're crazy? Maybe the guilt of everything is getting to you? Your mother had every right to hate you. You were nothing but a disappointment to her. She would have been so much happier if it had been you that died in that crash instead of Michael, and you know it. Everyone would be so much happier without you." He came around to the front of me and looked me in the eyes. 

"That's not true." I start shaking as my thoughts start to get clouded. 

"You know it is. And I love seeing you this vulnerable. It gives me easy access to your thoughts." He sneered. "You're scared. I can tell. Well, you should be. You KNOW what I'm saying is true. You know what, let me help you. They won't miss you."

My body flies back to the wall, the breath getting knocked out of me. My back started aching and he came closer. "No one needs a bitch like you around." Suddenly, his hands are around my throat. Tighter and tighter they got. All I could focus on were his eyes. They were locked on me and I felt like I was in a trance. I reached my hands up to my neck and tried to pry his hands away, but to no avail. I got weaker and weaker as I struggled to breathe. My vision was going blurry as I see NateMare slowly changing into the Nate I know and love. 

"I never wanted you here. You've caused me nothing but trouble. You're a waste of my time and space." He said as tears rolled down my face until I finally faded into darkness.

~*~

I slowly opened my eyes as an intense white light shines in my face. I groan at the suddenness of the light. "Fucking hell." My voice felt raspy and hurt like a bitch. The dream I had felt so real. I could still feel his hands on my throat..

"Oh thank god you're okay!" I heard the sound of Nate's voice as he engulfs me in a hug. I look around at my surroundings and take a minute to process what was happening. I was in a hospital. Tubes and wires coming from every part of my body. I had no recollection of anything happening after I fell asleep in the car, only the terrible nightmare..

"Nate, what the hell happened?" He sat up and looked at me. 

"You had a heart attack."

~*~

*** NATE'S POV ***

I take a quick glance at Harper as she turns away from me to sleep. She was beautiful no matter what she was doing. She could be just getting out of bed and she's still be the most beautiful in the world. I knew I was falling for her, and hard. I just don't know that she feels the same. And I don't know how I'd be able to bring myself to end it with Morgan if anything did come of us. 

I reached my hand over and started rubbing her back gently, being careful not to wake her. I turned down the radio slightly so she could sleep better. "Looks like I'm on my own for a while." I laugh to myself as I continue driving. 

After a few hours of driving, we arrived in the city and were close to the hotel. I look over in amazement as Harper is still sleep my soundly. I knew how she was when she first wakes up, so I decided to go ahead and wake her up now so she's more alert. I track my hand over and shake her gently. Nothing. 

I shake her slightly harder and call out her name. "Harper, wake up. We're almost there." Still no response. I rolled my eyes at her stubbornness. "You'll have plenty of time to sleep at the hotel!" I laugh slightly. 

Once I pulled into the hotel, I turned off the car and looked at Harper. "Guess I'm carrying everything myself." I sigh. Once out of the car, I see a man walking toward me. 

"Hey, Nate!" I smiled as I realized who it was. 

"Dookie!" We hugged and looked at each other. "What are you doing here?"

"I thought I'd come out to see some of the shows since I've got time." He laughs. We walk toward the car and decide to try and wake up Harper again. I opened her door and her arm falls from her side. I shook her once more, but absolutely nothing. 

"Harper?" 

"Who's this?"

"She's a friend of mine." I patted her face a bit to see if I could get any reaction out of her. But there was nothing. "Harper, please wake up. You're scaring me." Hunter came up next to me, dropping the bags by the car. He put his fingers to her neck, then to her wrist. 

"Fucking shit dude, she doesn't have a pulse." I put my head close to her face and notice she wasn't breathing. 

"Fuck! Shit, call an ambulance." I scrambled to my feet and unbuckled her seatbelt, lifting her up bridal style and setting her down on the concrete next to the car. Immediately, I started doing CPR. "Please Harper, don't leave me."

"They're on their way." I don't look away as I stay with Harper. I didn't understand what had happened. She was completely fine a few hours ago. What happened in that short period of time?

Hunter grabs her pillow from the car and gently places it under her head until the ambulance arrives. 

As they took her away into the ambulance, I threw Hunter the keys and began to follow them. One of them got in front of me and blocked my path. "Sorry sir, but unless you're family or her boyfriend, we can't let you on."

"That's bullshit!" I screamed as they loaded into the ambulance and drove away. I ran my hand through my hair as I ran to Hunter. He tossed me back my keys and we both got into the car, making our way to the hospital as fast as we could. 

~*~

*** HARPER'S POV ***

"I knew I had a weak heart, but I didn't think it was that weak.." I stared at my hands and thought back to my nightmare. "I can't remember much after I fell asleep. Just the nightmare.." we stayed silent for a while. 

"Do you want to talk about it." I shake my head quickly. 

"No. I never want to relive that hell again.."

"I was so scared I had lost you." Nate said, taking my hand in his. I felt a spark go throughout my entire body, and I could tell he felt it too. "You were clinically dead for six minutes.." he said hesitantly. 

I'm not even safe while sleeping. I have no escape. Soon, the doctor came in. "Well, I normally don't do this, but since you're awake and you seem to be doing a lot better, I'm going to send you home." I relaxed as I heard this news. There's nothing I hate more than hospitals. 

~*~

I sat on the bed, staring out the large window and listening to the sounds of the wind outside. 

Nate came up next to me, standing and watching with me. "It's a beautiful day." I said to break the silence. 

"Not as beautiful as you.." I heard Nate say under his breath. I could tell he didn't want me to hear him, but I could still hear it clearly. I had my hands flat on either side of me. Nate sat down and placed his hand on top of mine. I looked down, then at him. He was looking back at me, his brown eyes were warm and made me relax every time I looked at them. 

We stared into each other's eyes for what seemed like hours when in reality it was only for like a minute. His eyes went to my lips, then back to my eyes. Before I knew it, he closed his eyes and leaned in. I knew that I shouldn't. That he had Morgan. But I couldn't help myself anymore. I closed my eyes and leaned into the kiss. His lips were warm and soft and made me crave more. I felt fireworks go off in my body. It was unlike anything I've ever felt before.

The kiss got deeper, more heated. I wanted him there and now, but I knew it wouldn't happen. We pulled away and he rests his forehead against mine. We stared into each other's eyes. 

"Harper.. I want to be with you."

My heart fluttered. Excitement and fear over came me and I became confused. Was I really ready to be with him?

"Nate.."

"Please. Seeing you like that today, it just confirmed my feelings for you. We've only known each other for a few months, but you've already become such an important part of my life. I can't imagine what I'd do if I ever lost you. Harper, I love you."

I sat there speechless. My heart fluttered at his words. 

"Nate, I love you too." I felt a smile form, then fade away. "I feel the exact same way, but I don't know if I'm ready. Believe me, I want you more than ever, but I'm just afraid. Especially after my last relationship.." he looked slightly disappointed, but he nodded in understandment. "I just need some time. I want to be sure that Zack won't be able to hurt you." 

"Zack?"

"My ex he's hurt me enough already. He knows about you know-"

"Wait, how? I thought you said you've lost contact with him?"

Fuck. My eyes widen as I realize what I've done. 

"Harper, what aren't you telling me?" I felt tears brimming my eyes as he looks at me. 

"Zack found me. He was there that night. He... he-"

"You don't have to finish that sentence. Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because I was afraid. I'm still afraid! He said if I told anyone, he'd hurt you. I was just trying to protect you!"

I stood up and walked toward the window. "It's not you're job to protect me, I should be the one protecting you! His psycho ass could show up at anytime and hurt you again. I don't know how I could live with myself if I let that happen again."

"I don't know how I could live with myself if he had hurt you. I feel guilty enough. I put you in danger just by knowing you.." I lowered my voice and turned back to him. "Nate, I love you more than anything, but until I know for sure that he's gone and can't hurt you, I don't want to start anything. Literally anything could be putting you in danger."

He walked over to me and wrapped his arms around my waist. "Morgan and I broke up." He suddenly said. "She still believed I was cheating on her. So we agreed to end it. Neither of us were happy." I nod as I lay my head on his chest. I pull back and look up at him. He guides my chin up and kisses me softly. "God I've been wanting to do this for so long."

I intertwined our fingers together and looked up at him. "Who the fuck am I kidding. Nate, I love you. I need you."

He smiled at hugged me. "Harper Devera, may I have the honor of calling you my girlfriend?" I laugh as he has a goofy grin on his face. 

"Why, of course, Nate Sharp." I said, mimicking his tone. 

That night, we spent our time cuddling in bed and watching movies. We agreed to keep our relationship a secret. For now at least. We agreed to tell some of his close friends. Ines that he won't be able to hide it from. Friends h knew he could trust. We did this for our safety. Shit like this spreads like wildfire throughout his fan base, so Zack would be able to find us easily. We need to be careful when in public. If Zack found me that easily, he could do it again. 

For now though, all I cared about was Nate and how happy he made me feel. I didn't think miracles could happen. Until I met Nate. He literally saved my life.


	10. Chapter Nine

The rest of the short tour went pretty smoothly. I went to his shows and watched him perform, still amazed that I can finally call him mine. Every now and then, Nate would look off stage at me and give me a huge smile. He seems a lot happier than when I first met him. I'm not sure if it was because of me, or something else. But I didn't care. He was happy. We were happy and that's all that mattered. 

We spent our nights cuddling, watching movies, and sharing a kiss every so often. But we never went farther than that. He respected my decision to wait, after what happened earlier in the month. He wasn't eager like most men - and even women - I've dated. All he cared about was my company, and that made me feel amazing. Like I was actually worth it. 

I was laying on my back in Nate's bed, Nate still sound asleep next to me. I looked over at him. He was shirtless and his back was turned to me. The way his body would move with each breath, the definition in his back, just everything about him I loved. I smiled as I turn my back to him and look out the window. My movement must have woken him up, because I felt movement on his side of the bed. He stretched and turned toward me, wrapping his warm arm around my body and falling back to sleep. I felt the butterflies in my stomach again, just like that night I had the nightmare. The night that Nate started to break down his walls and let me in. We both still have out barriers up, but I believe we'll be able to break them down together. 

~*~

We started the day with finishing the vocals for "This Is The End". It took a little longer than planned because Nate would get distracted. He would do things to try and make me laugh, which never failed, ultimately distracting me as well. 

"Nate, seriously. We need to finish this!" I said between laughs. I laughed and entered the recording room.

"You're right." He put his headphones back on and I started the music and started recording his voice. 

"I found you  
You've been asleep in your room  
You can scream, you can shout  
But this will all end soon  
I'm your nightmare  
I'm broken inside  
I'll be the end of you  
So hold your teddy bear tight tonight

We roam and we invite  
You won't survive the night  
Just tell yourself that this is all in your head

I hear them running  
They're banging at my door  
It's gone for days and nights  
And I can't take this anymore  
I hear them breathe  
(We hear you scream)  
They won't stop haunting me  
They're right behind me  
And I won't take this no more  
This can't be real, it's in my head  
(Give it up, you're better off dead)  
Some things are best forgotten

We're voices in your head  
We're the monsters under your bed  
Come take a closer look  
We're all still your friends  
Do you still believe that

You say that this is over  
Make believe that you're my friend  
But I cannot pretend  
I know that this can't be the end  
It's bad enough I'm fading out  
And still you torture me  
Why can't you let me be  
I just want to be set free

I hear them running  
They're banging at my door  
It's gone for days and nights  
And I can't take this anymore  
I hear them breathe  
(We hear you scream)  
They won't stop haunting me  
They're right behind me  
And I won't take this no more  
This can't be real, it's in my head  
(Give it up, you're better off dead)  
Some things are best forgotten

We're voices in your head  
We're the monsters under your bed  
Come take a closer look  
This is the end

Now this is the end"

Once we finally had recorded his vocals, I saved them them to my computer to finish later. There wasn't much left to do, but we were both too distracted to get anything done. After we finished this song, we'd be completely done with recording his Five Nights At Freddy's album, which got me more excited. 

Nate set his headphones aside and came out of the recording room. He came up behind me and started rubbing my shoulders as I saved the last few things onto the computer. 

"Jesus, you're good at this." I moaned as I lean back. Nate gave the best massages and they always help me relax. I just seem to melt away into his hands. He laughed as he leaned down and placed a kiss on my nose, causing it to twitch slightly. 

"You're fucking adorable." He chuckled softly. I stuck my tongue out and poked him in the side. "You're such a child." He laughed. 

"You are too." I shrugged. 

"Am not!" I raised my brown. 

"Yeah. Sure." I laughed as I stood up. We walked out into the living room and sat down on the couch. Well, he sat down. I lied down on his chest. He turned on the tv and got it set up so we could watch more Steven Universe. 

As we watched, I thought about how I should somehow be introduced to Nate's fandom. They're eventually going to be asking questions anyway. And it's not like I need to keep my whole identity a secret. As long as they don't know about our relationship... yet. 

I thought about ways we could do this. The most obvious one seemed to be doing a collab together. I look to Nate and thought. It would really make him happy if I did this with him. I sighed and poked his cheek. 

"Nate?"

"Yes, love?" My heart warmed as he called me this. 

"I- I think we should do a collab together. You know, as a way of introducing myself to your fans. I mean, I'm gonna be sticking around for a while and they're gonna be asking questions so it just makes sense."

He had a huge smile on his face as I explain. "I think that's a great idea, Harper! At the end we could say a few words to tell them about yourself and that you're going to be a big part of the channel." He winked and I blushed. "And don't worry, we won't tell them about us." He gave a small smile and turned toward the tv. I felt a little guilty, because I could tell he wanted to make this public, so we could start to feel more like a real couple. We haven't even gone on a proper date yet. 

"I'm really sorry about this Nate. I want be public. I really do. But I just can't take that risk right now." I felt even more guilty. 

"Harper, don't be sorry. I understand. I'm willing to wait until you're ready. I love you and that's all that matters. But just know, when that first date finally comes, it's going to be really special." I smiled and I tried my head into his chest. 

"You're too good for me." I hugged his waist as he laughs, wrapping his arm around my small frame. 

"No, you're too good for me." We continued watching Steven Universe and discussing what song we would sing together. Whether or not to do a song of his he's been working on or to do a cover. He wanted to do one of his songs, but at the moment I feel more comfortable doing a cover. He agreed to do that with me and we began discussing which song we'd cover. 

~*~

That evening, Nate's friend Hunter came over to record some videos for their gaming channel, Nate and Dookie. I remember meeting Hunter briefly while I was in the hospital, but now I can get a chance to introduce myself properly. 

We stood in the kitchen as they went through a list of possible games for them to play. "We could play Gang Beasts." Hunter suggested. Nate nodded and looked at me. He smirked and looked back at Hunter. 

"Maybe we can have Harper on as a guest." I roll my eyes. 

"Nice try. But I'm shit at video games."

"Even better!" He laughed, I joined him. 

"The answer is still no." He pouted and gave me the puppy dog eyes that I just can't resist. "Ugh fine. I'll do it. You're lucky you're so cute." I winked and walked to the living room. I could still hear them behind me. 

"She's a friend, is she?" 

"Okay, more than that now. But you can say anything about it online. We have to keep this as private as possible."

I still felt slightly guilty for asking Nate to do this. "Why?" Hunter asked. 

"I wish I could tell you. It's a really long story and it's not really my place to tell anyone." They came into the living room and looked at me. "C'mon, lets go play some vidya games!" I laugh as I stand up and follow them into a room in the house with a black couch, a tv, and sound proof pads on the blue walls. There was also a computer on the side wall and a few chairs with it. 

Hunter went over to the tv and started to get things set up, Nate helping. "Let's just start with Gang Beasts and see how this goes." I sit on the right side of the couch, Hunter on the left and Nate in between us. Once we were all set up, they started the recording. 

"Hey guys, welcome back to more Gang Beasts! Today, we have a special guest." Nate started. 

"Yo!" I shouted, causing both boys to start laughing. 

"This is our friend Harper." Nate said, looking at me. "And she's never played this game so we're just going to throw her in." Nate and Hunter laugh. 

"Gee thanks guys. I really appreciate it." I laugh along with them. 

~*~

"NO!" I shout and start laughing as Nate's character holds mine over the edge. At this point I still had no idea what I was doing, mostly just pressing buttons until something happened. Up until now, it hasn't worked out well for me. "I'm taking you with me!" I pull Nate's character over the edge with me somehow. 

"No!!" Hunter starts laughing hysterically as his characters arms go up in the air. 

"That's what you get for betraying me." I smirk at him. 

"You suck." He laughed. 

"And you swallow."

"OHH!" Hunter shouts, causing both of us to laugh. 

"And on that note, I think we're done." Nate and Hunter finished their outro and stopped the recording. 

"I think I'm going to go back to the living room now. That was fun though!" I said, smiling. 

"Are you going to binge watch Orange Is The New Black again?" Nate asked and looked up at me. 

"No.." I turned away as Nate laughed. 

"Is this your way of coming out? I'm hurt!" I laughed as held his hand to his heart. 

"Well, you're half right." I winked. 

"Oh yeah. I guess you're right."

"Did you forget that I was bi for a second there?" He copied me in looking the other way. 

"No.." I rolled my eyes and walked towards the door. 

"I'll see you guys when you're done." I went back out to the living room and sat down on the couch, opening Netflix. Next to the tv was a calendar. Once I looked at it I realized it was exactly a week until my birthday. "Holy shit." I said to my self. Time really does fly. I'll be fucking twenty-one. I smiled as I started an episode of Orange Is The New Black. I'm not sure what it is about this show, but it just brings me so much joy. I feel like I relate to Alex in so many ways. Minus the drug dealer part.


	11. Chapter Ten

*** NATE'S POV ***

"It's always hard  
When the journey begins  
Hard to find your way  
Hard to make amends  
But there's nothing you can't do  
'Cause you've got the power inside of you

It's never easy  
To make a choice  
To keep things inside  
Or raise your voice  
But for everyone there comes a time  
When the light inside begins to shine

It's not always right or wrong  
As long as your spirit's strong  
It's not always win or lose  
It's the road you choose  
The answer's within  
It's not always black and white  
But your heart always knows what's right  
Let the journey begin

So many choices  
How do we know?  
So many places  
Where do we go?  
What should I say? What should I do?  
Still, we're together, me and you

It's not always right or wrong  
As long as your spirit's strong  
It's not always win or lose  
It's the road you choose  
The answer's within  
It's not always black and white  
But your heart always knows what's right  
Let the journey begin  
Pokémon!

There's nothing you can't do  
'Cause you've got the power inside of you

It's not always right or wrong  
As long as your spirit's strong  
It's not always win or lose  
It's the road you choose  
The answer's within  
It's not always black and white  
But your heart always knows what's right  
Let the journey begin  
Pokémon!"

Harper and I finished the song off. The entire time, our voices were in perfect harmony. She had an incredible voice and I couldn't be more proud of her for deciding to put herself out there. 

Afterwards, we smiled at each other. We waited for a few more seconds, then I started talking to the camera, Harper looking at the camera in front of her. 

"Hey guys! Nate here. I just want to thank you guys so much for watching this collab that I did with my good friend, Harper!" She smiled and waved at the camera. 

"Hey guys!"

"We decided to make this video to properly introduce her. Harper is going to be sticking around for a while! She'll be helping me make music and edit my videos."

"I think it's going to be a lot of fun and I'm excited for you guys to see what we have in store in the future!" She smiled as she talked. 

"We might do a live stream some time and do a q and a if anyone wants to ask her any questions." Harper nodded an and gave a thumbs up. "But anyway, thank you all for watching and leave a like if you enjoyed. Don't for get to hit that subscribe button if you haven't already, and, just have a fantastic day! I'll see you guys later!" Harper and I waved and stopped the recording. 

"That was actually a lot of fun." Harper said smiling. Her smile quickly faded though. 

"You alright, babe?" She nodded. 

"Yeah, it just hit me that so many people are going to know who I am now. And that's a lot of pressure. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret doing the video, I still want you to put it up. But I'm just kind of worried about what people will think." I hug her and kiss the top of her head. 

"Who cares what people think. I think you're pretty great." I wink at her, earning a slap on the arm. I laugh as I continue. "But seriously. There will be some super supportive people, and some not so supportive people. You just have to realize that the people who leave hate aren't worth your time." She nodded and grabbed my hand, intertwining our fingers. 

"Guess what tomorrow is!" She looked up at me and smirked. At first, I was confused. 

"Holy shit really??" My eyes widened when I realized tomorrow was her birthday. My girl was about to be twenty one. I was relieved that I had gotten her gift, a black iPhone 6s, in advanced. Usually, I wait until the last minute to get birthday or Christmas gifts for people. Along with the phone, I got her a case that was black with gold lettering that said "My Love - N" in cursive writing. I had gotten it custom made a few days ago. I was still waiting for it to come in the mail, but I had the phone hidden in my office. "We should do something tomorrow. Go out somewhere. Maybe invite some friends." She nodded. 

"I like that idea. What should we do?"

"How about dinner. You pick the place." She smirked as we walked out into the living room with my arm wrapped around her shoulder. We spend a lot of our time in the living room either watching tv, playing video games, or just sitting there, enjoying each other's company. An occasional nap on the couch with her head in my lap. 

"You already know my answer!"

"Harper you have a serious problem with Olive Garden breadsticks." I laugh as she pouts, sitting on the couch. 

"It's not just the breadsticks! They have the best Alfredo!" She falls back and lays sideways on the couch. I shake my head. 

"You and Italian food, I swear. Olive Garden it is!" She sat up and hugged me. 

"You know you love me." She kissed my cheek and rested her head on my shoulder. 

"Somehow." I smirked. 

"Hey!" She slapped my arm. 

"Only teasing!"

~*~

*** HARPER'S POV ***

I snapped my head up and looked forward. At first I was confused as to where I was, then I saw the chalk board in the front of the room. There were posters everyone that I knew too well. I was back in school. My high school. I'm Mrs. Brownlee's math class. 

"Well Harper?" She asked. I realized that she had asked me a question. I looked to the board and had no idea what was going on. 

"Umm.." Someone leaned closer to me and whispered something to me. 

"X equals seven." She whispered. 

"X equals seven?" I said, my answer sounding more like a question. Mrs. Brownlee smiled and turned back around. 

"Very good. But next time, keep your head up." I felt my cheeks heat up as I heard the snickers from my class mates. 

"Are you doing okay, Harper?" I look over to see Holly Mulindi. My best friend, and also girlfriend. I nodded and looked forward.

"Yeah. I'm fine." She didn't seem convinced. I kept our relationship a secret from everyone. I was ashamed of who I was, I was ashamed of being bisexual. I was afraid of what people would think of us, and I could tell it definitely took a toll on Holly. She really loved me, and I loved her too, but I couldn't come to terms with it and accept myself. I was planning on ending it that day. I loved her so much, but I can't continue this if I can't even accept myself. 

I spent that day lost in thought and dreading facing Holly after school. When that time finally came, I swear my heart was in the pit of my stomach. I approached Holly, not daring to look her in the eye. 

"Harper, there's something going on with you." I sat there silent. "Harper, please talk to me."

"I can't keep doing this." I suddenly said she took her hand off my shoulder, and after what seemed like years, I looked at her. I looked her right in the eyes. Her once bright gray eyes had dulled and seemed lost. 

"What do you mean?"

"This." I gestured to us. "How can I continue this if I can't even accept myself?" Tears started to form in her eyes. 

"Harper, please don't do this. I love you. Who cares what people think!"

"I'm sorry," was all I could manage to say. She clenched her fist and turned around. I looked at the ground. 

"Okay. Goodbye, Harper." She set something down next to me as she walked away. Once I was sure she was gone, I picked up the item. A t-shirt. A hand made t-shirt with a chibi version of me holding a bisexual flag. I felt tears forming, guilt rising in me. But I knew it was for the best. Or so I thought. 

** TRIGGER WARNING **

Ever since that day, I hadn't seen her at school. Days turned into weeks, then months. Eventually, they found her. But not how we remembered her. She had run away from home with nothing but a small bag full of clothes, some money, and a bottle of sleeping pills. She had waited about a month after running away before she downed the whole bottle of pills. She was dead within an hour.

Sometimes I blame myself. If I had been there for her, she'd still be here. She was openly gay at our school, and she got a lot of shit for it. I don't doubt that that contributed, but I can't help but feel that I was the reason she went over the edge. And that guilt resides with me every day of my life. Even now, I can still see her face..

I sat up right on the couch and looked over to see Nate watching tv. "You okay?" He asked. I nodded and rested my head on his shoulder. 

"Just.. a dream. Memories is all." I was quiet as I watched with him, Holly's face flashing into my mind. 

"Want to talk about it?" I figured talking may help. I sighed and explained it as short and simple as I can. 

"An old friend - girlfriend - of mine from high school. She was openly gay at school and got a lot of shit for it. I was in the closet at the time, couldn't accept my bisexuality. And it hurt our relationship. I kept our relationship a secret from everyone. Eventually, I couldn't take it and I ended it. I loved her so much, but I was selfish and couldn't accept my self. She ran away the next day and we found her three months later dead under a bridge. She killed herself and I can't help but feel like I was responsible.."

I realized I was gripping onto Nate's had really hard. As I finished, I loosened my grip and looked at him, tears starting to form. "Harper, it wasn't your fault. She wouldn't want to to keep blaming yourself. She's want you to move on and be happy. You seem to be focusing on the bad memories. Try focusing on the good. Trust me, it'll help." He wraps he's arm around me and I smile, thinking back to the time when Holly and I went to the park in the middle of then night and it started pouring. We spent that night laughing and dancing together. It was just the two of us, no one there to bother us or judge us. It was probably my favorite memory of the two of us. 

"I haven't smiled while thinking about her in a long time." I said, hugging Nate closer. 

"If you ever want to talk to me about her, I'm here. It's good to have someone that'll listen." I nodded and looked toward the tv, an episode of That 70's Show playing. 

"Man I fucking love this show!" I smiled as I payed back down onto Nate's lap. He laughed and shook his head. 

"You're just bound and determined to keep me from getting up, aren't you?"

"Yep." I said, popping the p.


	12. Chapter Eleven

My eyes slowly opened as the sunlight shone through the curtains. Nate had his arm wrapped around my torso and his face buried in the back of my neck. His warm breath sent shivers down my spine. I felt both the warmness of Nate and the blankets and the cool air from the room on my face. I almost didn't want to get up, but I really had to pee. I tried lifting Nate's arm off of me, but he just tightened his grip. I sighed to myself. "Why, Nate?" I had to admit, he was adorable when he was sleeping. 

"Don't go. I'm comfy." Said a half asleep Nate. 

"But my bladder is about to burst and I'm pretty sure you don't want to be here for that." I laughed as Nate quickly set my free. I climbed out of bed and immediately felt the cool air on my bare legs. I've gotten into the habit of wearing nothing but one of Nate's t-shirts and my underwear. I'm sure Nate doesn't mind though. 

Once I finished in the bathroom, I walked back into the bedroom to see Nate sitting up and checking his phone. He eventually got his phone replaced with a 6s, which I still felt slightly guilty about because I was the reason his phone broke in the first place. I looked over at the end table on my side of the bed and saw two small boxes wrapped in black and gold wrapping paper and a black ribbon to tie them together. On top was a note that had my name. I could tell it was Nate's handwriting. 

I walked over and picked up the packages and sat on the bed. "Nate, what did you do?" I look over and smirk at him. 

"Just open them!" He said, smiling as he set his phone down. I rolled my eyes and untie the black ribbon. "Start with the smaller one." Nate said. I picked up the smaller package and carefully unwrapped it. Yes, I'm one of those people who hates tearing into presents. To me, it makes it seem like I'm too eager. 

Once I got the wrapping paper off, I took the lid off of the small box to see a black phone case with gold writing. 'My Love - N' it read in cursive lettering. I smiled and looked at Nate. 

"Open the other one now!"

"Someone's more excited than me I see." I raise my brow at him. He smirked and shrugged. I carefully open the next package and see another box. Opening the box, I see a black iPhone 6s. "Nate, I don't know what to say." I said smiling. I set the stuff aside and lean in and jive Nate a quick peck. "Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me. I thought I'd make it a little more personal with the case. I already activated your phone and added some numbers on there. Mine, Hunter's, even Lisa's. I found the paper with her number in your jacket pocket. They're a also some other people in there that you might meet later on." I nodded and tried to unlock the phone. 

"There's a password." I said as I put the case on. The lock screen was a picture of Nate and I that Hunter had taken while we were playing Gang Beasts. 

"1230. The day you said yes to being my girlfriend." He smiled. I entered the password and saw the same picture on my home screen. All that was on the phone at the moment was the picture and the phone numbers. 

"Nate. This is amazing. I can't believe anyone would do this for me."

"Ah, it was nothing really. Anything to see my girl smile." 

"No, really. I remember when no one would even give me the time of day. I love you, Nate. 

"I love you too." I set the phone aside and cuddled up next to Nate. His warm body gave me butterflies all throughout my stomach. 

"We're going to dinner with some friends tonight, is that okay?"

"Of course!" I smiled. I was looking forward to meeting more of Nate's friends. 

"Hunter, Mark, Arin, and his wife Suzy will be there. They're also YouTuber's. Mark has his own channel and Arin and Suzy have a channel that they share with four other people. They're known as the Game Grumps."

I nodded. "Well I'm excited to meet them." I smile and kiss his cheek. 

~*~

Nate had decided to record some videos today so that he'd have some ready in advanced. I was slightly annoyed that he decided to do this on my birthday, but not too much. I'd see him later today and tonight when we went to dinner. But for now, to pass the time I decided to walk around the park. It was a beautiful day today and it just made me want to enjoy it. 

I started texting Lisa and really getting to know her and become friends with her. 

Me: We should really hang out again sometime. Next time for a more pleasant visit haha.. 

I thought back to that night and shuddered. I can only imagine what was going through her head that night. 

Lisa :3 : Yeah, totally! I'll actually be in L.A. next week visiting my sister. We should totally get lunch sometime. 

Me: I'd love that!

The park was pretty quiet today. At the same time, it was a Sunday and most people around here don't come here that often on Sunday's. I sat on the swing and looked at the photo of Nate and I again. That loving look he gave me was the one he had given Morgan before. It made me feel good. 

I looked forward out into the somewhat empty park, thinking about how the dinner will go tonight. Walking along the path toward me, I saw familiar blonde hair that I haven't seen in a few months. My heart started to speed up at the sight of here. 

Jessica. 

Before I panicked, I turned around and starting walking the other way, hoping she wouldn't notice me. 

"Harper?" 

Well shit. I stopped and turned around. She honestly hasn't changed at all in the last few months. "Hey." I said sheepishly. 

"How've you been?" She asked, her voice laced with fake concern. 

"Fine actually."

"You doing okay on your own? It's not too late to look for jobs."

"I'm doing fine, thank you very much." I snapped. The air between us was tense. 

"I'm just trying to help-"

"The only thing you've helped with is making my life miserable. I'm doing just fine. I have a place to live, I have a job working in music production with my roommate who also happens to be my boyfriend. So why don't you just worry about yourself and leave me the fuck alone."

I turned around and started to walk away. I heard footsteps behind me and Jessica started walking next to me. 

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed-"

"No. You're right. How could you have known? All I was in your eyes was someone who had no hope and was too lazy to do anything for herself. Never stopped to think that maybe something was seriously wrong. Oh wait, you did. I tried to reach out for help but you shut me down. So sorry for the bitterness, but I found some people who actually care about me and my physical and mental health."

"Harper-" I stopped and looked at her. 

"Just stop. It's done. Just leave me alone, okay? I'm going to enjoy my birthday with my boyfriend and new friends. I'm doing fine now. Bye, Jess.." 

I turned around and began to walk back toward the house. Jessica didn't follow me this time. I felt my heart start to race and my breathing quicken. I needed to get home now before I had a panic attack out in public. I got out my phone and texted Nate. 

Me: Hey, babe. I'm on my way home right now. I know you're recording but I just wanted to let you know that I'll be in the bedroom for a while. I ran into an old friend and it wasn't a very pleasant experience.. just know that I'm fine and my anxiety will pass. Love you <3

I sent the text and took a deep breath as I walked down the sidewalk down our street. A few minutes later, he replied. 

Nate <3: Of course. If you need anything at all, let me know. I'll be done with recording in a few hours. I'll be down the hall, just remember that. I love you too <3

I smiled as I made my way up the driveway. I couldn't wait until tonight. Until then, I had to focus on my anxiety and not going into a panic attack. 

~*~

*knock knock* I heard a knock on the bedroom door. It took me about half an hour to calm myself down enough. 

"Come in!" I shouted as spread my arms out across the bed, my legs on the pillows where our heads lay. 

Nate comes in and smiles. "Are you hungry? We're going to meet everyone at the restaurant in about an hour." I smiled, feeling the excitement building. 

"Hell yes!" I got up and walked over to the dresser. During my time here, the amount of clothes I own has been slowly growing. Not that I really care, I often wear Nate's t-shirts around the house because they're comfy and at huge on me, so there's no need for pants!

From the dresser I pull out a red and black spaghetti strap dress. It came down to my thighs and it was very flowy. It wasn't anything fancy. The skirt was black and the top was black with red roses on it. I held the dress up and turned around, watching Nate as he changes his shirt. This man had an amazing body, I'll have to admit. 

"Like what you see?" He raises his brow and smirks. I felt my face heat up and I smile. 

"You know it." I wink at him and walk over to him. I threw the dress over my shoulder and wrap my arms around his neck, shirt still in his hand. 

"That dress is beautiful. You should wear it tonight."

"I think I will." I smile as I give him a quick peck. He leans in and kisses me again, this time more passionately. The kiss got deeper and deeper and neither of us wanted to stop. "Nate." I breathed as I pulled away. His hands went down the sides of my body and to my hips, pulling me closer. There was no doubt about it that I wanted him. I felt like I was finally ready. 

I leaned in and kissed him again, cupping his face in one hand and running my fingers down his chest and stomach. It sent shivers throughout my body. "I'm ready." I said suddenly as I pulled away again. Nate looks at me in the eye with concern. 

"Are you sure?" I nodded. 

"Positive." I back up against the bed as Nate kisses me again. He layed us on the bed with him on top of me. His lips traveled from my lips and down my neck, fireworks going off inside me. He lifted my shirt and slowly traced his fingers down my stomach, stopping just above my underwear. I closed my eyes as his gentle touch sent shivers throughout my body. 

He began tugging at the hem of my shirt. I sat up and Nate removed the shirt, throwing it on the ground somewhere leaving me in my bra and panties. "God, you're beautiful." He said as he kissed me again. I layed back down and Nate's lips travel to my chest.

He gently cupped my left breast in his hand as he trails kisses down my stomach. He placed his hands on my hips as he brings himself back up to my face. He leans down and kisses me again. His tongue grazes my bottom lip, asking for entrance, which I gladly accepted. 

My hands travel down from his neck and down his back and to the top of his skinny jeans. As I started tugging at them, his hands start to go under me. I sit up slightly to make it easier for him. My fingers found their way into Nate's hair as he attempts to unhook my bra. Once he finally does, I remove the straps from my shoulder and throw it into the floor, leaving my bare chest exposed. 

He layed us back down and gently cupped my breast again. His warm body was against mine and I could feel his crotch against my leg. I could feel how hard he was. I tugged at his jeans once more and looked him in the eye. 

"I bet these are getting a little tight." I smirk as my hands move to the button of his jeans. 

"Fucking hell, Harper." He moaned as I sat up again and unbuttoned his jeans. 

"Harper? Nate?"

"Fucking Jesus Christ. I forgot Hunter was meeting us here. Shit." Nate sat up and I sat up with him, slightly annoyed at Hunter. 

"It's fine. We can just pick up where we left off when we get home." I wink at him. "I'm going to start getting changed then. You might want to take a cold shower." I smirked and Nate groaned and layed back down. 

"Damnit Hunter!" I laugh as he pouts at me. 

"I have to admit. He really did ruin the mood. But tonight will be a lot of fun." He smiled and got out of the bed and walked over to me. 

"I'll go and let Hunter know we're here." He says as he gives me a quick kiss. 

He grabbed his black button up shirt and threw it on as he left the bedroom. I rolled my eyes as I put my bra back on and put on the dress. I decided I'd try to curl my hair for once, so I plugged my curling iron in and started on my makeup while I waited for it to heat up. 

I felt my cheeks start to heat up as I though about how close Nate and I had gotten. I was pretty annoyed at Hunter, but it's not totally his fault. 

I got more and more excited for tonight. Pasta, breadsticks, Nate... it was going to be good. 

(A/N: DON'T HATE ME. IT'LL HAPPEN I PROMISE! 


End file.
